Firstly, it should be noted that the sexual drive will go up and down throughout the course of life. The loss of the female libido is defined as a significant decrease in the desire of sex that is deemed to be as persistent and not going away. This will be outside the normal fluctuations of the sexual drive and can a\occur at any stage of life.
It’s not entirely unusual for anyone to experience a loss of interest in sexual activity at some stage, nor is it an unusual event to experience a difficult in the ability to climax and reach an orgasm. It certainly doesn’t mean that anything is wrong, and there are a range of physical and psychological reasons that can play a significant part in your ambivalence and desire towards sexual intercourse.
There are a number of physical causes that can result in a loss of libido and these can encompass:
- Vaginal dryness
- Repeated painful or uncomfortable sex where the level of desire is outweighed by the fear of potential pain and discomfort
- Arousal difficulties
- And some medication, including antidepressants.
Psychological Causes Might Include:-
- Retirement or significant life changing events such as divorce, relationship breakdown, moving house, financial difficulties and any other significant event that causes great emotional distress
- Illness or death of a partner
- A change in a partner sexual function as a result of growing older, cancer and in particular suffering from prostate cancer
- Poor body image
- Relationship concerns, anxieties and difficulties
- A history of unwanted sexual contact and sexual abuse.
Talking About It:-
If you have found that you are experiencing a significant loss of interest in sex, you might find that it is beneficial and helpful to talk to someone about it. In particular, it should be your primary sexual partner and relationship, however If that is not possible or that is the initial cause for concern in regards to elements of stress and significant life changes, then it might be beneficial to discuss it with a friend, therapist or even a GP. Communication plays a big part in the sexual development in a relationship, and by not talking acknowledging, or dealing with issues surrounding the relationship it can lead to greater calls for concern and stress.
It should be noted that not everyone feels comfortable talking about sex and sexual problems, and that’s perfectly okay. However communication should still be attempted. If you’re in a relationship and would like to talk to your partner about your sex life, sexual function or your decreased enjoyment of sex, then you could politely bring it up by asking how they feel about your current sex life. It’s important to ensure that your partner understands that you still love them, and that you experience great joy in intimacy with them, but there are things that you’d like to discuss.
When talking about sexual issues its very important to not blame the other partner. Using sentences and such constructions such as ‘I feel’ is of a great benefit than by suggesting that ‘you don’t. The former places more emphasis on your feelings and feelings are subjective and cannot be ignored. You should also discuss about why you like to be touched, if you’re feeling that, as well as how you like to be touched and caressed. This is especially useful if you can still achieve an orgasm through the act of masturbation, but are still struggling to reach sexual climax when your partner is involved. Discussing your feelings and how you feel with someone is incredibly important when dealing with such an issue.
Advice For The Loss Of Libido:-
As you can see there are a lot of factors which can lower your interest in sexual activity, and these can both include physical and psychological issues. There is however, a lot you can do when trying to improve your level of libido.
A lot of people fail to realise that there’s a lot more to sexual activity than just sexual intercourse. The sense of touch, intimacy and closeness re important elements to have in a health and active sex life, indeed, the idea of penetrative sex is simply not that important in the overall plan of sex and sexuality. If you have found that your interest in sex and sexual activity has diminished then you might want to try some sensual methods of becoming aroused.
These Methods Could Include:-
Explore. Taking the time to explore and caress each other’s bodies. You could try lying next to each other naked in bed and simply touch and explore. This is exceptionally useful for building up trust, and intimacy especially when suffering from depression or body image issues. Simply lay there, put on some music have some nice scented candles and lay there touching each other slowly and sensually. It might not result in sexual activity and it might not develop further from that. But it’s still an important aspect in the development of trust and intimacy. Indeed, sexual health and wellness programs will often use this activity and expressly forbid you to engage in sexual relations. The idea behind this is that when you are denied the sexual activity, it becomes more arousing. These programs usually have activities lasting for a month to restructure intimacy and trust and will then culminate in a sexual activity at the end of the month.
Taking A Bath Or Shower Together:-
Baths are especially useful in exploring each other’s bodies in a sensual and fun way. You could include bubbles, or wine, and sud each other up. Combine the experience with fruit or a sensual and favourite dessert for a truly relaxing experience.
Massages are a fun and sensual way to explore each other’s bodies and be extremely connected and intimate. Grab yourself a great scented massage oil, and rub each other down. There doesn’t need to be any sexual activity within this, as a sensual massage is more about feeling interconnected and intimate.